Rebuilding Your Confidence and Trust: Healing from Narcissistic Abuse with Hypnotherapy

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There was a time when the phrase gaslighting was used relatively infrequently. If you’d uttered it to me about twenty years ago I would have immediately thought of one of my favourite films ‘Whatever happened to Baby Jane’ where the incredible Bette Davies plays the deranged ‘carer’ to her wheelchair bound sister. Do you remember that scene where she lifts the lid from the silver tray to reveal a dead budgie? Of course you don’t, because your memory is probably far more productive than mine.

Now of course most of us would immediately recognise Baby Jane as a person suffering with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, that’s NPD to you. The reason why we would recognise it so quickly is because there are so many videos about it on YouTube and TikTok and for those of us who work in therapy we frequently encounter people suffering from the impact of being caught or trying to leave or being left by a person with NPD.

Just in case you haven’t enjoyed the same exposure to this traumatic personality disorder that some of us have, let’s get a clear explanation of what gaslighting is:

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that can have a devastating impact on individuals who experience it within a relationship.

There’s no doubt about it, being gaslighted by a partner can erode your self-esteem, confidence, and worse of all your ability to trust your own instincts.

 In this blog for my hypnotherapy page on I’d like to explore some of the effects of narcissistic abuse in relation to a recent case client I’ve been working with and explore how we’ve been using hypnotherapy to assist in the healing process.  

When my client came to me originally, they wanted me to help them deal with their jealousy and unreasonable behaviour. The client believed that their unreasonable behaviour had pushed their partner away. The client had become so sure that their loving and devoted partner was being unfaithful that they’d hired a private detective to follow their partner. What? Hiring a detective? Crazy person, right?

The crazy person’s partner had moved out – they’d made a lot of money and could afford to maintain to different residences.

Anyway, cut a long story short, I quickly gathered from what my client said that her intuition was correct and her irrational behaviour was the result of her system going into meltdown because they were not listening to themselves and what was really quite obvious from the outside.

Of course I’m a human with prejudices and failures of my own so I have to be very careful when coming to conclusions about things I can’t be certain of, so I shared my thoughts with my client cautiously. I’m a hypnotherapist after all, not a marriage counsellor. I can’t help it though, if I see things very quickly.

Anyway, we both agreed that regardless as to whether the infidelities were going on, the client had to arrive at a place of strength without their partner. Either the client was experiencing intense jealousy – insane jealousy, because their partner was just too busy with work to meet their needs or their partner was actually being frequently unfaithful. The partner spent most weeks travelling (with work) to various countries and spent little time at home.

For added information to this case. The partner had left the marital home in order for the client to reclaim their sanity. How thoughtful!

Of course when my client subsequently caught their partner in the act with the person in their second residence, you’d be forgiven for reframing the moving out of their partner as being for any other reason than to enjoy the space of sustaining the marriage whilst occupying a place of a single person free to pursue new amorous adventures. Generally speaking when one married partner moves out it does not convey the attitude of someone who wants to work on improving their marriage.

Affairs and infidelities happen and invariably they cause pain and heartbreak for all concerned but the kind of affairs that people experience at the hands of a narcissist is something all together different. Not content to accept their responsibility in the betrayal and leave the partner, the narcissist will do everything in their power to make their victim feel responsible for the break or damage to the relationship.  In the case discussed here, it was my client’s jealousy that drove their partner into the arms of others, despite the fact my client had never experienced a jealousy like this throughout their whole relationship – not once, until they’d found suggestive photos or their partner along with comments and texts.

Understanding Gaslighting and Narcissistic Abuse:

Unfortunately this kind of gaslighting is a standard way that people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder manipulate their victims to gain control. What they do over a period of time is erode their partner’s confidence by convincing them they have a distorted view of reality, making them doubt their own memories, thoughts, and feelings. Over time, this insidious form of emotional abuse can cause immense damage and leave the victim feeling confused, isolated, and powerless. When my client first came to me, they were breaking down the whole time.

Impact on Self-Confidence and Trust:

Gaslighting can have a profound impact on an individual’s self-confidence. Constantly being told that their perceptions are wrong or that they are overly sensitive can lead to self-doubt and a loss of trust in one’s own judgment. The victim usually starts to question their abilities, decisions, and as in the case of my client their sanity. This erosion of confidence can extend beyond the relationship, affecting various aspects of their life, including work, friendships, and personal growth.

Rebuilding Confidence and Trust:

Recovering from narcissistic abuse requires a multifaceted approach that addresses both the emotional and psychological aspects of healing. During our hypnotherapy sessions I used powerful techniques to allow the client to diffuse some of the overwhelming trapped energy. The client was able to release some of the elements of shock and fear that had accompanied many of the events leading up to the discovery and beyond. As well as working on relinquishing any desire to keep the relationship, we worked on building confidence to move on. My client also began doing other therapeutic things for their mental wellbeing.

By accessing the subconscious mind, hypnosis helped my client overcome their limiting beliefs, release their negative emotions, and rewire their thoughts and behaviours. After just a few sessions, my client believed they could face a happy future without their partner.

Naturally with something as profoundly traumatic as a relationship betrayal, healing takes time. But because hypnotherapy works at the deepest possible part of the unconscious mind, emotional distance from the trauma can be arrived at sooner than with other forms of therapy.   

Keywords: improving confidence, rebuilding trust, healing from gaslighting, narcissistic abuse recovery, hypnotherapy for self-esteem, rebuilding boundaries, overcoming self-doubt, regaining trust in instincts.

The Power of Hypnotherapy:

One of the ways that Hypnotherapy works so well to improve confidence following a shock to the nervous system experienced in a narcissistic relationship is by inducing a relaxed state of consciousness and allowing the individual to access their subconscious mind. Through the hypnotherapist’s carefully crafted suggestions, the hypnotherapist can help reframe negative beliefs, replace self-doubt with self-assurance, and instill a sense of empowerment and trust again in one’s instincts.

During hypnosis, individuals can explore the root causes of their lack of confidence and trust, addressing any underlying trauma or conditioning that may have contributed to their vulnerability to gaslighting. By reprogramming the subconscious mind, hypnotherapy can help individuals develop a positive self-image, cultivate self-compassion, and strengthen their ability to establish healthy boundaries.


Gaslighting and narcissistic abuse can have a profound impact your confidence, trust, and overall well-being. However, with the help of hypnotherapy, it is possible to rebuild your sense of self and regain trust in your instincts. Through the power of hypnosis, you can release negative beliefs, heal emotional wounds, and establish firm boundaries, paving the way for a life filled with confidence, self-assurance, and healthy relationships.

Remember, seeking professional help from a qualified hypnotherapist near me, like myself is essential when dealing with the effects of gaslighting and narcissistic abuse. Together we can embark on a transformative journey towards healing so you can reclaim your power.

Keywords: gaslighting recovery, hypnotherapy for confidence, trust your instincts, setting boundaries after abuse, rebuilding self-esteem, healing from narcissistic abuse, hypnosis for empowerment.